I don't wish anything bad on him at all, but I don't think I can do this anymore. I just can't fucking take it!!!
I can't take periods of not knowing what the hell is going on, and I don't think ANYONE in their right mind could really expect someone to cope with that and be totally fine.
Besides...I think I may have found a new interest. Not that it should come as any great shock, considering I tend to fall hard and fast for A LOT of people.
I just need to get rid of Jason. I feel sick when I think about my ties to him. I hate that I feel that way. I think it's obvious that I've grown out of that arrangement. It was fine when I was just learning, but I don't feel a submissive connection to him anymore. The only reason I continue to obey him is because of the commitment I made to him. I feel obligated to make good on my word until I tell him otherwise.
FML. What am I going to do? I seriously need to cut ties with a bunch of people before I can feel good about moving ahead with my current interest...of course, that could turn to shit as well. Such is my luck most of the time.
Monday, August 3, 2009
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