Gushing Forth!

You make me so angry sometimes. And I know that I'm right. I know that what I feel isn't crazy or stupid...but I can't verbalize it. So, I end up feeling stupid anyway. SOOO frustrating!

It makes me very angry that you try to be so possessive of me when it's convenient for you. (As an attempt at keeping me from Jason.) Then, you get all upset when people think we MIGHT be together. Like it's the worst possibility in the world. And that's exactly how I'm made to feel. Nobody can know ANYTHING about this...yet, when you are feeling pissy about Jason, you want me to tell him EVERYTHING. Make up your mind. It's confusing and irritating. Sheesh.

I HATE that you can't talk to me about what's bothering you. I wish you could open up, instead of keeping it all in...only letting your frustration out, not the problems behind it. I feel so powerless when I can't help you. You always do so much for me when I'm feeling down. You've really helped me a lot of times, even though some of the things you had to say weren't easy to hear. They still helped. I just wish you'd let me help you.

You are a stubborn, jealous, and prideful person. But I love you to pieces. I love you for being YOU. You are a dear friend, at the very least. And so much more, in reality. You've done a lot of good for me. I'm sorry that I can't always see it. And I'm sorry if you don't always know I appreciate it. I do. And I appreciate you.

This was just a random...I don't even know what. A random burst of feeling. One thought wasn't necessarily related to another...these were just all things I needed to get out. I intended this blog to be my refuge for the things I couldn't say..."the things you never ask..." However, I haven't used it to it's full potential. I've kept a lot from this blog, just letting it build inside me. I did that out of fear of expressing how I felt to you. But I'm not going to do that anymore. I know you are my friend and if you are REALLY a good one, my expressed feelings here won't make you think any less of me. I'm depending on you to be the good (non-judgemental) friend I know you to be.

Love you.