Friday, October 9, 2009

I'm NOT Leaving On A Jet Plane

In about an hour is when that plane will be taking off...and I won't be on it.

I think I'm going to be sick.

I could really, seriously puke right now from guilt, nervousness, and just a variety of shit.

Amanda told me to sleep on it...just to get a really good night's sleep and see how I felt about it in the morning. Well...I don't feel any differently. I still feel guilty. I still want to make things right.

I kinda wish that I were a Christian so I could pray to God and receive the correct answer on what to do. I know that He would have the correct response before anybody.

Today I looked through her Facebook pictures and just cried. I miss her. I really do.

But, is she good for me? Would it really have worked? I just don't know.

I feel so helpless. So hopeless, helpless, and fucking sick.

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