FUCK IT ALL!

I'm sinking deeper into my depression. I can feel it killing me from the inside out. I don't know what to do. I hate taking medicine, and I honestly don't believe it works anyway.

I feel like no one cares how I feel. When I try to get all the things off my chest that need to be said, people stop me in my tracks. They change the subject. No one wants to hear about my problems...can't say I blame them, really. I don't want to hear about them anymore, either.

*sigh* I don't know...I'm just tired of it all. I'm tired of waking up in the morning and doing the same old shit. I'm tired of feeling the same way everyday. I've felt like shit for years now. YEARS. I wish people could understand the toll that can take on a person.

I'm not sure what people think of me. I'm growing to believe that people think I feel this way for attention or something. FUCK THEM. It's not for attention. I'd rather be happy and have people leave me the fuck alone, rather than being miserable and feeling so goddamn needy. I don't WANT to need people, but I do.

The question is, who needs me? Answer? No one...absolutely fucking no one. I realized today that if I died, people would probably go through the standard mourning period, but would probably feel much relieved that I wasn't there to bring them down anymore. That's all I'm good for. I can't help it, but at the same time I do realize that to be the truth.

God, I'm so unhappy. If I have to wake up one more day with this heaviness in my chest and knowing that no one cares about me, I'll just die.