The Street Where You Live....Why Is It So Far From Here?!

I'm still wishing he lived closer to me. We've become good friends (by bonding over how fucked up so many people in the BDSM community are, haha).

We both have the same complaint: we just can't seem to find a decent person within a 100 mile radius. He tells me he wishes he knew more subbies like me...and I tell him that I wish Kentucky had a Dom that was worth a shit...i.e. a Dom like him. We've had great conversations about all types of things, kinky and vanilla topics alike. We've shared our DEEPEST fantasies...something I haven't even been able to do with Jason or Master!

And even though we are nothing more than casual friends who have wonderful conversations, I wonder if we could be more if it weren't for the distance. I wonder if we could see each other on a regular basis, if we could make a deeper connection. We've loosely planned to meet, since we enjoy talking so much. We talk everyday. In fact, I look forward to my conversations with him more than I look forward to talking to Master or anyone else. My priorities are probably fucked up, aren't they?

He makes me feel the way a Dominant SHOULD make a submissive feel: equal, but not the same. I'm very aware of his role (even though he has no direct authority in my life). I'm aware of who he is and his stature. He is aware of mine. There is a mutual respect and a certain amount of protocol involving our roles...but I feel equal to him. I love it. Even though I'm submissive, I don't feel lowly or below him. I don't feel like I have to grovel to talk to him.

If he is never able to be anything else, he is becoming a very good friend, and is great company to talk to. I love how he remains so positive about the potential of my love life, even when I'm not. He keeps telling me a submissive like me shouldn't be single for long...I hope he's right, but I just don't know.

God...I feel so desperate. I'm trying so hard not to show it. I'm pretty sure I'm not...but sometimes I'm afraid it will leak out and scare everyone off. A good friend told me tonight to not settle and to not be desperate. I'm trying very hard to avoid both of those things.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm in such a dire need for a Dom that ANY Dom that is even halfway ok would seem PERFECT to me.

*sigh* I wish I lived somewhere else, where there was a more developed community of people with my interests.